Dear Hope, i have prayed for you.
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)
Things do not necessarily resolve immediately, and at least now you know what your exhusband wants and you can go in your own direction that the Lord will lead you. I already find it you are tremendously blessed that your boys have been able to handle things this well so far. But i hope you still have or can find father figures for them, whether through your church or close family members or even caring friends.
I just want to encourage you to take the Lord as your husband now. Cling to Him for grace and comfort, truly let Him hold you when you are so troubled within. And though things are going so wrong, this is the time you need to blindly trust in Jesus. This is what i do when things are just unbearable, i hold Him with all my being (though i myself have a husband), and in my mind and heart determine to trust Him blindly, because otherwise i would be angry at Him.... and i have been there and done that and realized that that is not the best way to handle the trial.
__________________ Put on the full armor of God, that you may be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:11-12) |