I am a 32 year old mother of 2. I have recently gotten back together with my fiance. I feel like there is such a strong connection between us. When we are great together we are SOLID and the love and consideration for one another is like no other. When we argue it is like a Bomb just exploded. Everytime we argue I feel as if he wants to just give up and it puts me on egg shells. I want him to know the things that are bothering me but I am afraid that he will not want to be with me when I express my feelings. I recently went on to his computer and saw that he was in a porn site. He was pleasuring himself to this. I explained to him that I am not ok with this and that I was uncomfortable. I told him that I would like for him not to visit such disgusting sites. He promised me he wouldn't. I would like prayer to make all of that evil disappear from his head. TO help us to become a strong, loving, considerate family. I know he loves me deeply and I know he wants to be with me. he is stubborn and makes it hard for me to express myself. Please help.

God Bless you. We here will be Praying for you both. Communication is so important without it your lost. I pray that you will be able to work things out as God sees fit. If God is not in the equation, you have a hopeless situation. God Bless you for asking for Prayer. ODIE

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2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Dear xmas1976, Many things that you have said, should be of concern to you. Such as being afraid to express your feeling(s), because you think he may leave, if you do. I have just went through the same experience that you are encountering now. I too tried to talk to him, and he pressured me to keep quiet. As he did not want to feel guilty. After awhile the bad times started to outway the good times, and he was only in it for the good times. My love for him was greater than his love for me. He expected a lot from me, and gave little in return! I was more inclined to live according to the Bible, than he was. He would live according to the Bible, when it fit how he wanted to live. I did not say that I was living a Christian life, as I wasn't. (I had sex with him before I married him.)

***The question is, can he love you, and still pressure you into keep quiet about things that are happening which hurt you, and would he really leave if you did not stop? As long as your not going overboard, he should have no problem with it you talking about your concerns, and asking him to compromise. The only other thing that I can think of is this: Is he unhealthy. If it is just that he is unhealthy, but loves you. Then you need to put your foot down, before the bad times outweigh the good. Because if this is the case: At this point he very well just chalk it up to: "He's just not in love with you anymore", and leave!!!

***The whole thing is it is very scary, to think of loosing him! It was for me. I've had to put my foot down. I'm not asking for too much. I just want him to compromise, and make a full committment to our marriage. I can not longer tolerate him justifying why is it ok to be mean, anymore. If he refuses to change this behavior, I will not move to be with him. I am better than how he had treated me, and it's not ok, anymore! This is how you need to be!!!

***Consider the following to see if this is true in your case: Is he is placing conditions on your relationship, and what are the conditions? Does he use the conditions to hold you at arms length, and fail to compromise with you because of them? Is his pressuring you to keep quiet, used to get his way, and not compromise with you? Does he not care that he is hurting you, and if not, why? Can he stop hurting you? Unless they are unhealthy, a person who does love you, does not have these conditions! Just remember the only condition for walking out of a marriage is adultry (according to the Bible). I know that your not married, but you are living like you are married.

***Finally, I have this to say about living together prior to marriage. It is very hard to go back, and to stop having sex, once you are living together; I would just like to just point out some things, as maybe this could be helpful to you in your furture. Just something for you to think about. Many times we are just floating through life trying to be happy. In the process we can really hurt outselves with the rash choices we make. Hopefully this will help you, or someone else who happens upon this. I have kicked myself in the butt for not following the Bible, and living with my husband prior to marriage. If I only knew, or thought of these things prior to this, I could've saved myself a lot of heart ache!!! Why is the Bible against pre-marritol sex, and why should we refrain from it?

#1: It is against what the Bible would have you do. Many times we know what the Bible says, but we think that we know what we are doing, and therefore move in and have sex prior to marriage. The Bible is not just a book of written laws, and rules of how that you should live your life! I believe it is also written to keep us from getting ourselves into messes which ruin our lives!!! It keeps us from doing things which bring shame upon ourselves!!!

#2: Statistics show that people who wait until marriage have a higher success rate of staying married, than those who start off their relationship by living together. Why is this do you think? I have came up with some possibilities.

A. When you make the man wait until marriage, he developes a respect for you, as you stand by your principles, and if you stand by this you will stand by other principles. This is a demand from you, that he is to respect you. It also lets him know that you will not put up with certain things, and one of them is sex before marriage.

B. When you don't have sex before marriage, you are placing more value on the person involved, rather than the immediate gradifications that sex before marriage gives you. You will quickly weed through the men who are interested in just sex, and the one's left will be quality men. There is a variety of reasons why both men, and women live with a person prior to marriage. Another could be, it is financially easier to make it with two incomes rather than just their own. Again, people can quickly weed through the undesirables if they would just wait.

C. Many times when people wait until marriage, they have already talked through a lot of the issues which would mean "make or break" to the marriage. As their infesis is on the marriage, and staying married, rather than one of the many other things that people decide to live with each other for!!!

D. When people choose to live with one another, before marriage, what they are really saying is: I do not know if I want to be with this person for life, or not. So I will live with them so I can decide. Please don't be upset at the next sentence, as I did the same thing. I am just trying to get your attention, and force you to think about choices!!! So you decided to live with him, and now you are upset with him, because he is now showing signs that he is trying to decide if he wants to be with you or not!!!

***I pray that you search the Bible for answers to how you should live your life, and what to do about this relarionship. I would begin to get into a church, and seek someone to help you through your relationship problems. I did write a few things down, for you to consider. These are things that i've learned which have helped me. Only you know the details of your situation. So carefully consider what you should do. I hope that you Draw closer to the Lord. I know that you haven't been, as you are living with your boyfriend. I encourage you to do this, as your life's puzzle pieces will fall into place, when you are in God's will for your life. I pray for everything to come together for you. I pray that the lessions that you are learning (as a result of you being off-track with God) be limited. I pray that something i've written helps you to get closer to the Lord. I will be here to pray with you, whenever you need it. I am not Holier than thou, as i've made the same mistakes.

Dear Heavenly Father, Please be with this couple. Help them to work through their problems by seeking you for an answer. Please place your hands on them that they both will ahve a burning desire to put you first in their lives so they will then be able to see what needs to be fixed in the relationship. Bless her for asking for prayer and turning to this website for prayer. Please guide them in the way you would have them go. For this we pray in Jesus name. AMEN