PLEASE READ THE COMMENTS BY LYNDA, AND CHRISTIAN737, AND MY COMMENTS TO THEM WHICH FOLLOW THEIRS. THEN RESPOND TO ALL YOU HAVE READ!!!

We are continuing to work things out. We are making progress. I am asking for continued prayer. My husband has broken up three times in the past. I see strides to rekindling our relationship. I just want to make sure that we are not getting back together for the wrong reasons. Such as: He is lonely. I also don't want to get back together if he is not 100% in love with me, and committed to this marriage. ***In the Bible it says that when parents divorce, that it makes their children unclean. I am not sure if what I believe it means is the truth or not, but I believe that what the Bible is saying is the following: That the children of divorce praents will believe that marriage, and love is not forever, as a result of their parents divorcing. ***Anyone who is reading what I just said, I would like your opinion on this! What is the Bible saying about children of divorce? ***Anyways, my husband comes from divorced parents, and sometimes I believe this has affected us. As he has had conditions for our marriage. Specifically, he has been unwilling to compromise, and sometimes even when he knows he is hurting me. He has in past believed that you only stay together as long as everything is going good in the marriage. ***I believe that he would have acted differently had he been 100% committed. ***I remember him saying to me one time, that he did not want to bend or compromise on the thing that I wanted him to. As if he did, I would only want more. I just wanted him to be fair, and be in the marriage to win it, and not only if he was getting his way. I felt if he loved me, that I would be more important to compromise than to get his way.***I do see positive changes in him. My only reservations are is this only short term. ***How will I know if he is really made permanent changes? ***Also, I do not want to always pick apart, and disect everything he is saying, or doing. When do I lay it all down, and just relax, and be in the marriage. ***These are all questions that I have. I don't want to hold anything over his head, and i'm not one to just start, or love to fight. I just want to feel secure! ***Please pray as we work through this. Pray that his seed of his recent salvation, has been planted in furtle soil! True Salvation is just the beginning to your responsibilities to live a christian life. If all you do is get saved, but you still continue living as you had in the past, are you saved? Please chime in on your opinions. ***I do not want to fight. I do not want to hold anything over his head. I am forgiving person. I just cannot have him throwing out signs that this is a "Look and See" if he is going to be in this relationship, or not. ***Please pray that the Lord brings out the signs through him, as to the answers to my questions. Or, finds someway to send the signs to me as to what his will is for my life, and our marriage. Note: The Bible says that if an unbeliever leaves the marrriage: To let him go. ***If he is going to continue living as he has in the past, and walking with one foot in the Bible, and one foot in sin. Pray that these signs come out before we move back in together. Pray that the Lord let us know the perfect time to move in together, if this is his will.

Let's talk salvation first.

Once saved, always saved. It's not by works. Meaning, what Jesus did worked, does work, and will always work. My kids are my kids because of birth. Whether they do good or bad now bears no change on their being mine. Only in our relationship together! So your husband is saved, but this life isn't just about that...it is about knowing Him! And being conformed into Love. The deal of salvation did not include us; it was between the Father and the Son, and we simply believe by faith in what was accomplished, and they declare us righteous. And no one can snatch us out of the Father's hand! So I trust this will also encourage you, and put that helmet of salvation over your mind where it belongs!

Aaron.

You have many points. Was there any in particular that are burning on your heart?

To AaronMcgill, Yes, my question is: The Bible tells us that people should not divorce, but for adultry. It goes on to say something about children of divorced parent's being "unclean". I've always thought that this means that: As a child of a divorced parent (and because there parent's divorced) then it somehow makes the child think that it is OK for them to get a divorce (and for any reason). Also, if a child of a divorced parent believes it is OK to divorce, he/she may not do what it takes to have a happy healthy marriage. ***For ex: They may be less willing to compromise, as they can get a divorce if they do not get their way; they may ask for a divorce because their partner (for whatever reason) just does not make me happy; They may just want to go when they want to go, and do what they want to do when they want to do it. ***In my own situation my husband has justified leaving, and asking for a divorce based on non biblical reasons. He justified it by outlandish stuff, such as: One time he said that he believed that God wanted him to be away from me as he had gotten a job quickly in the city that he relocated to. (The job was a $9.00 an hour job, and he had left a $10.50 job behind) It was just a ridulous reason that he had come up with. ***He had really left because he was spending all the extra money we had to travel to IA to see his kids and grand kids. Prior to this we had went to every one of them. One year I asked if instead of going to all three Grandkids B-days one summer, could we combine two of them, and take one week end for ourselves. (It should be noted: My husband was working 3 rolling weekends, and had off one, and so on and so forth. This was all the weekends for the entire summer.) He got so mad that he refused to go to any that summer, and for the next three years he made excuses about not taking me anywhere even for a weekend. Also, after that he limited me going with him, to visit his kids. He started taking off without me. Either he would refuse to let me go, or he would act like he needed time to go by himself. He would use this to scare me, as this was the stepping stone to him leaving. He would start doing this more, and more till he left. ***Anyway, were gettting a little off-track. My husband is from divorced parent's. I am concerned that because of this I will be unable to have him be committed to me, and eventially he will just leave, and get a divorce. Or, it will just be a rollercoaster ride until the end. I have had to be the strong one all along, and for both of us. I just can't fathom living this way until I die.***Also, your view is once saved always saved. If this is true, I can pretty much do anything I want now, as I am guaranteed a spot in heaven, no matter what I do. If this is true, why are you not just out living to satisfy your own wants, and needs. Why even read the bible. You do not have to follow it now, as your saved no matter what? ***I am not trying to fight about a belief, I am just concerned. Some people who believe that once saved always saved do not follow the Bible and/or treat people like they should. They believe their saved no matter what they do. I have been seriously hurt, and my husband just said, I don't care God will forgive me. (Without saying it, he was saying: No matter what I do, or how I act I am going to heaven, and I don't care how it makes you feel.)

Kweig,

I don't believe that because your husbands parents were divorced that it means he will always view it as O.K. anymore than I believe that once a cheater always a cheater.I think it's more about ones own character, and ones own character is strongly connected to ones walk with Jesus. Both my husbands parents and my parents were married over 50 years with no adultery between them, yet my husband and I have both been married before. Our parents stayed very committed to each other. When I was very young in my first marraige, I cheated after watching my husband do the same for several years. Obviously it did not help matters. Would I do it now even though my current husband had a long term affair that went on for almost 2 years. Not on your life!! Why? because I have come to walk a closer walk with God and can now see the devils work for what it is. My character is not what it was when I was in my twenties. I was desperately seeking love and looking in all the wrong places. Once I started walking closer to God, that old character of mine that would have reacted to pain by causing pain, gradually disappeared. The more I strive to walk with God and learn to live as he would have me do, the stronger I can feel myself become, and my original character changing for the better. I believe it has nothing to do with my parents marital status and Everything to do with my own persanal walk with God.

__________________
"There is in the deepest center of a believers' soul a chamber of peace where God dwells and where, if we will only enter in and hush every other sound, we will hear His still voice." A.B. Simpson

Well said! Succinct. Being with GOD changes our character from day to day.

To Lynda, and Christian 737, I do agree that being closer to God causes us to walk differently, than if we were sinner's.

I PRAY THAT ALL WHO HAPPEN UPON THIS READ IT IN ITS ENTIRTY, AND CHIMES IN AS TO THERE OWN OPINION. THIS I PRAY IN THE NAME OF JESUS, AMEN, AND AMEN!!!

I also think whether a person is or isn't a christian, he/she still makes choices as to who they want to be, and how they want to act in life.

I also think that how society is (in their social make-up of how they view what is ok, and not ok) has a huge impact on the way that sinners live their lives, and a smaller impact on Christians. If in general, society believes that divorce is fine, then sinners will definitely believe it is OK.

Also,some people who claim christianity, or think they are Christians will tend to view divorce as OK. In any case (other than where the Bible gives exceptions) divorce is not OK, especially if you do not want to be alone for the rest of your life!
As if you divorce you cannot remarry, except if the divorce was as a result of adultry.

I also believe that children of divorced parent's will definitely believe that divorce is OK, and part of their being OK with it comes from: #1) Their parents actionof getting a divorce. . #2) Some of it comes from society, and what they believe to be OK.. #3) ***The last piece of the puzzle, when determining whether a person is going to pre-dispositioned to believe divorce is OK, I believe comes from the way you were brought up by your parents, the examples that they set, and the values they instilled, when we all were children. It is my belief that all three numbers above play an important role in what makes people who they are, and who they are going to be. At the same time, I want to just mention that there are always exceptions to this rule. Not everyone let's Parents actions influence how they live, but they are the exception to this rule. I will leave it there, as I don't want to get off track to what my true points are, and what my questions to you, will be.

I give the following example of a child growing up to be pre-dispositioned and influenced by his parents,; who have been divorced under non-biblical reasons. I ask you to ponder the probability of them being like their parents, living life like them, and reacting like them. I believe it is more highly likely, that they will divorce, than not. Please chime in on the following: If a parent has a drinking problem, statistics show that the child is more likely to have this same problem, than not. There are also many other examples which go along these same lines, and statistics back what i'm saying. Don't you agree?

[b]Also, the Bible teaches that parents should teach their children in the way he should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it. If we were/are not pre-dispositioned by how our parent's raise us, and pre-dispositioned to believe the things to be a certain way as a result of their example(s), teachings, and the way parents live their life; then why would God even write something like this in the Bible? Chime in with an opinion! Part of teaching children how to live, is just not telling them how to live, but showing them how to live, by our own actions! I have heard over, and over from Pastors about the importance of the way we live our lives, and how we should be a light to the world, and live by example! Why is this important, and why do preachers preach this? Is it because, how can we tell someone else how to live if we are not living the way we should? Why should they live their lives any different, if we don't? And why should our children not get a divorce, if we have? If we make excuses to say that in my case, divorce was OK, why shouldn't our kids? Please chime in with an opinion!

I also believe that children of divorced parents were/are pre-dispositioned, and influenced to be more likely to get a divorce, by seeing their parents example of getting a divorce. It should be noted that statistcis back what I am saying. Also why is it written in the Bible that "Children of Divorced parent's are Unclean..., and to teach your children in the way they shoud go, and when they are older they will not depart from it..."etc.? Note: Teaching children does not stop when our kids reach 18 yrs. We continue setting an example till one of us dies.

If you do not believe that children are pre-dispositioned to believe that divorce is OK, in part due to their parents getting a divorce then please explain Why statistics show that children who come from divorced parents have a higher rate of divorce, than the ones who come from parents who are not divorced? ***Did you know that statistics show that children with divorced parents will have a higher number of marriages in their lifetime, than their parents had. ***Maybe the reason for this is: Back when their parents divorced, there was still some stigma in society where people was still trying to figure out whether it was OK or not, and divorce wasn't running rampant back then. Therefore, their parents might have divorced less, and now society has no problem with divorce at all, so the children divorce over, and over; and more times than there parents! Again, chime in with opinions!

***Also I believe that people who are pre-dispositioned to get a divorce, are less willing to compromise with their spouse. They have more conditions as to why they would leave their spouse (many of which are non-biblical reasons). They are not shown proper parenting skills, as to how to have a happy, healthy, and working marriage. (How to compromise, and work it out!) How to be there through thick, and thin, and until death do you part. (Many people believe that marriage is just when things are good, and they have no idea that true love is not the "honey moon pitty pat heart" that you feel early on in the marriage. It is being there for each other through the hard times that strengthens the bonds, and makes you love each other more. But try to explain this to someone who was not shown a proper example of what it means to have true love. It is almost like talking to a brick wall. ***Children need desparately need these examples, and need to see happy, healthy communications, and compromising skills at work, and between their biological parents in order to have a higher probability to stay married. Please chime in with your opinions!

When the Bible tells us to "teach are children in the way they should go, and when their older they will not depart from it". It is telling parents to set "good" examples, and your children will follow what you've taught. And if this is true, then why wouldn't it be the same for the parents who teach the non-biblical teachings (not by words so much) but by their actions. ***For example their parents getting a divorce under non-biblical purposes. And if all the above is true, why can't my husband be pre-dispositioned by his parents being divorced, and the wrong examples that he was shown, and therefore he believes it is OK as a result of his parents teachings! He also did not see a healthy marriage at work. Why couldn't he have less of a clue as to how to communicate, compromise, and how to work it out?***Pease chime in with your opinions!!!

Why did the Bible say that "children of divorced parents are unclean", or you will make them unclean if you get a divorce? Can anyone tell me this. Pease let me know what you think the Bible means when it says this!!! Does it mean that the children are unclean, as they have been given false information that divorce OK as a result of their parents teaching and their acions of the parents divorcing).

In closing, please keep my husband, and I in your prayers. Pray that we both draw closer to the Lord. Thanks for all the responses! Pray for his salvation. Pray that the Lord causes him to grow in his walk in the Lord. Pray that his newly planted seed is planted in furtle soil. Pray that it has not fallen in between the rocks, where it cannot take root. Pray that his seed sprouts into the blossoming christian that God had intended all of us to be. Pray fiercely, he is loved by the Lord!!!