spiraling out of control

#1 (**permalink**) 01-28-2008, 02:08 PM

I feel so out of control. It feels as if my life is falling a part. No one knows. My husband left me. I miss him. Since then I've been struggling with an eating disorder. I'm so ashamed. I keep trying to stop but I just keep doing it. I feel so guilty. God must be so disappointed in me. I know I have to be strong for my children. They deserve better than me. Is it okay to pray God bring me home? I'm just so tired.

It's not that I'm eating too much, it's that I can't eat. I tell myself, today I will eat. But I just can't.

Edward · #2 (**permalink**) 01-28-2008, 02:20 PM

What I can tell you based on my own experiences is, no one can help you but yourself - and God. Over-eating is not going to bring your husband home or make your children happy. Stop punishing yourself and step back and consider the fact that your situation, as bad as you may think it is, could be much, much worse. Then, do something to take care of yourself. Go for a walk everyday, kiss your children, take a bubble bath....I will pray for you too. Good luck.

Heidi · #3 (**permalink**) 01-28-2008, 02:37 PM

Dear Heavenly Father, Please help this person see that You are holding them in the palm of Your hand. And though they are facing sad times, You are still in control. You can and want to share this burden. Please send Godly people to support her. Please heal her broken heart and give her the strength and the courage to face each new day. Give her hope. And please watch over her children as well. In Jesus Name. Amen.

odiear3rd · #4 (**permalink**) 01-28-2008, 03:46 PM

I will be Praying that you give God CONTROL of your life. When God has control then we don't have to be worried about it being out of control. God will give you that Peace you are looking for. God Bless you for asking for Prayer. ODIE

hope4me · #5 (**permalink**) 01-28-2008, 05:20 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I too, have gone through almost the same that you are right now. My husband left us 9 months ago, and like you I was sick to my stomache. I didn't eat for weeks. My neighbors would have to come over and bring food to feed both me and my children. It got to a point where my neighbor wouldn't leave my house until she saw me eat. It was really hard, and believe me I did not want to eat because my nerves were killing me. It took me a lot of support and prayers to get to this point I am in right now, and yes it is still hard, some days more than others. But you just have to have faith, hope and trust our heavenly father. He will guide you through this, you just have to let him. Pray and pray some more, he will help, but you must believe in him and want him to be number one in your life. You are not alone in this even though there are times where you feel like you are. We are all here for you, and so is god. God Bless You and Your Family I will be praying for you, STAY STRONG.
+++++++++++++++
Lord,
With your bright and open heart forgive me for showing darkness to the light.
Putting my back, to what is right was wrong and i have sinned against you.
Forgive me O merciful one because i have relised my wrong and i am sorry for what i have done.
Lord i am ready to contiue following in your footsteps.
Take me from the dark.
Hear me now O lord.
Amen

christain737 · #6 (**permalink**) 01-28-2008, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I feel so out of control. It feels as if my life is falling a part. No one knows. My husband left me. I miss him. Since then I've been struggling with an eating disorder. I'm so ashamed. I keep trying to stop but I just keep doing it. I feel so guilty. God must be so disappointed in me. I know I have to be strong for my children. They deserve better than me. Is it okay to pray God bring me home? I'm just so tired. It's not that I'm eating too much, it's that I can't eat. I tell myself, today I will eat. But I just can't.

WOW!
A lot going on here, Friend. Take a DEEEEP breath.
I agree with Edward about that hot bubble bath. Go take a steaming hot bubble bath with some scented candles and a big mug of spiced tea and toast. Then come on back to read this. You deserve it, girlfriend. Someone DOES know. GOD is ALL knowing, in fact, HE knows where your husband is right now.
Unregistered, those thoughts you are feeling are not from GOD. I KNOW that this is the LAST thing you want to hear, BUUUT...Friend, GOD is tapping You on the shoulder trying to get your attention. He may have been doing it for a while, but htings have been so good in your life that you just didn't need Him. The TRUTH is this. No human alive can function WITHOUT GOD. Why? Easy...GOD created us for HIS pleasure and HE has a plan for our lives. GOD doesn't display HUMAN emotions and HE definitely doesn't react to our behaviour the way other humans do. He is NOT ashamed of you because HE is GOD, not a human. He CREATED humans. There is a book that you simply must get into your hands. Put EVERYTHING else on hold. The book is called the: B I B L E. Have you read it lately? The first commandment tells us to: Love the Lord your GOD with all your strength, with all your might, and with all your heart and HE is the only ONE you should worship. Friend, if you cannot be happy or joyful or at peace inside of yourself APART FROM your husband, then your husband will neither be qualified to succeed in instilling those things in you, either. We do not marry other people hoping they can exchange our miserable, lonely, depreeing life for joy unspeakable and full of glory. Only YOU and GOD can do that. Where your heart is, there also is your treasure. Your husband is your IDOL, even above GOD. It looks like your last resort is GOD. You have it all REVERSED...GOD #1...husband #2. Listen to Jeremiah 29:11-
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. THEN....you will call upon ME and come and PRAY to ME and I will LISTEN to you. You will seek ME and find ME when you search for ME with ALL OF YOUR HEART. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity."
In other words, ONLY WHEN YOU FIND GOD, will you find yourself and your joy and happiness. Unfortunately, people in general are not naturally attrated to depression, self-pity, drama, or the "Me-Myself-and-I" syndrome. Find GOD. KNOW Him. Bring Him into your life and everything else will follow.
Matthew 6:33-
"Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD, and ALL these things will be added unto you." Friend, you can RUN from GOD, but you cannot HIDE yourself from HIM. Even if He has to remove HIS hand from you to get your attention, HE WILL get your attention. Father, In Jesus Mighty Name, grant this Friend Revelation and Saving Knowledge. Grant a reprieve and surrounf her with Your PEACE and everlasting love. Grant her mercy, grace, and favour to be equipped to find joy, peace, and love for herself without depending on someone else to give her these things. Help her know who she is second. Purify her, sanctify her, refine her. Make her ready for YOUR service. Fill her with YOUR Spirit. Use her mightily for Your Kingdom. In Jesus Name we pray. Amen. Peace in GOD to you, Friend. Remember GOD in your life first.