This might sound weird but for many years I have struggled to believe in God. I have gone back and forth between being a Christian and being an Agnostic. I know that probably sounds wrong and it is. Its horrible. I want to believe in God but I know that just saying it isn't enough. I want to actually believe it. I cant explain how great it felt to believe in God when I did.
When things go wrong in my life I start to not believe anymore. How can I bring God back into my life? I know I have backslid and that God is not a fool , so I cant just say it and not mean it.

What are some things I can do to remind myself God is there? How do I do that when things are horrible in my life? Do you believe God can fix anything about anyones life?

The question my dear friend is what do you think entails becoming a disciple to Jesus the Lord?

__________________

Dear Heavenly Father, Please draw this person close. Let him feel Your wonderous presence. Give him the strength and faith to stand strong in You even when he doesn't feel You. Help him know that You sent Your Holy Spirit so that we are never truly alone. Give him a desire to read Your Word so he can better understand Your will for his life. In Jesus Name. Amen.

God is there to accept you back into the fold. I am reminded of a song we sing in our church. "TRUST AND OBEY". The chorus goes like this: "Trust and Obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, But to Trust and Obey".

You must bring yourself back to God. He is standing right beside you with open arms. Confess the things you have done and God will forgive you. There is nothing God can't do for you. I am Praying that you will give all your burdens to God and accept His forgiveness of the things you have done. Then Forgive and Forget them yourself. God Bless you for asking for Prayer. ODIE

__________________
2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

I have prayed for you

Dear My Beloved Friend,

I'd like to express my humble opinion here based on my understanding about being Christian at your request. I hope it is helpful to you.

I believe many of us, Christians, including me had or have wrong concept of being Christian. Believing in God doesn't mean that everything should go smooth all the time because we believe in Him and we believe He would take care of everything for us. Therefore, we believe we should not suffer. Actually, the truth is the closer we get to Him, the more troubles we will find in our daily life. Some will ask why this is true and why we have to believe in Him then. It sounds like such a paradox, but yes it is very true.

Being a Christian is actually accepting and enduring all the sufferings and humilities, but still keep having faith in Him that He would ultimately deliver us from them with glory in the end. Jesus Christ's life was a great example to us. He realized that sufferings would come to him soon and could escape from it, but instead chose to suffer from it for us until death, but was delivered and found God's glory and grace in the end. We, Christians, should try to follow His each step even though that costs us a great deal of seemingly unbearable sufferings and humilities during the course. We should also know that the truth is we, as sons and daughters of light, are meant to win always in the end with God's glory as Jesus Christ showed it to us Himself. If we were true Christians, we would ask God to give us suffering but give us strength and wisdom to overcome it with glory to glorify His name rather than asking Him that everything goes right in our lives after avoiding all the sufferings so we can live happily ever after without sufferings. If we were wise to God's eyes, we would enjoy both joys and sufferings at the same time because all the joys and sufferings are God's blessings, one way or another. Therefore, the true meaning of "May God Bless You" is "May God Give You All the Sufferings You Can Possibly Imagine Shaking Your Life Vigorously until You Want to Finally Give It All Up, But Win with God's Glory and Find Peace in the End and Make You Thank God for All of Those". At this point, you want to ask yourself this question, "Am i ready to be a Christian?" I mean “Am i ready to welcome all the sufferings?”

God will fix anything for you and your life, but in His way, neither your way nor our ways. The ways He does for us are beyond our understandings and senses, but turns out a way better than those of any of us possibly imagines. That is the beauty of His ways and surprises us all the time.

Let's pray to God to give us true wisdom to realize He is the true ultimate Deliverer and Savior to our life and we are finally able to accept all those sufferings with joy and ask Him even more one day. That way our faith in Him grows day by day and we will cry and realize one day that God loves us so much.

God loves you. That was why you got those sufferings because He wanted to bless you more in the end.

I hope that I did not give any of you wrong info. or ref. regarding Christianity from His eyes and offend any other Christians.

Gracious Lord, we confess that we dishonor you in our words, thoughts and deeds. Depending on our strength, we stumble. Glorying in our own righteousness, we reject you. Turning our faces from you, we desire the things of this world to satisfy us. We pray now, Lord, for you to forgive all of our sins, to cleanse the darkness from our lives, and to turn our faces and our hearts back towards you. May you give us wisdom to understand what your true will is for each of us and how to follow your will with Holy Spirit. May God bless all of us and bless others through our lives.

We pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I ask you -- what is the root cause of your trouble, your suffering?
Backsliding is disobedience to the LORD. When we practice sin, ignore the Holy Spirit's conviction of sin, righteousness and judgement. We will reap the corruption of our sins. We open the door to the enemy to wreck havok in our lives. The enemy builds strongholds in our thoughts and imaginations, which can be devestating.
When we walk after the flesh fufilling the lusts of the flesh, we grieve the Spirit of GOD, and He will pull back, letting us have our way, to wallow in our sins, reaping the corruption and destruction that sin brings into a person's life.

Hosea 5:15 -- I will go away and return to My place UNTIL they acknowledge their guilt and seek My face; In their Affliction they will earnestly seek Me."

So, as you can see, in This case, habitual sins, and grieving the Holy Spirit, will cause us suffering. Sin causes suffering.

There is also, another way, that suffering enters a believer's life. --
"...we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of this life" (2 Corinthians 1:8).
Paul was saying, "I'm going through something I don't understand at all. I'm being pressed beyond my endurance, beyond my ability to handle it, and I don't know why. I'm so low, I would welcome death!"
Now, Paul was as godly a servant of the Lord. He wanted nothing more in life than "to know Christ and Him crucified." He was entrusted with the mystery of the gospel. Yet Paul endured suffering that was so overwhelming and powerful, he was utterly at a loss. And there seemed to him no way of escape. He was so distraught, he thought death was at the door. He even said he was ready to lie down and die!

We do not know all the reasons behind Paul's sufferings. But it could have been a combination of several things: He had been mistreated in Ephesus. And in the resulting riot, the people had tried to kill him. He had reproved the church in Corinth soundly, and he didn't know whether he was still accepted there. Certain people accused him of being unstable, of not knowing his own mind. (Paul twice had promised to come to them, but God had changed his mind.) He was accused of being dishonest, of misappropriating the offering money. They also accused him of being a poor speaker, not highly recommended by his brethren. They said, "Your preaching is hard! Your words are not of the wisdom of this world." Paul acknowledged, "I don't preach with the wisdom of this world. I preach under the unction and power of the Holy Ghost!" But they didn't want that -- they wanted a smooth orator. Finally, they even questioned Paul's sanity. They said he was of unsound mind! The more Paul loved those who rejected him, the less he seemed loved by them - that was true pain -- being rejected by the body of Christ, the very ones he'd helped and done so much for! How would you like to bear this from your brothers and sisters in Christ? All of these things together probably brought Paul to the point of despairing of life.
Consider Paul's list of troubles from his life:
"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus..." (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).
"Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;" "In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;" "In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches" (11:24-28).

Paul did NOT need to ask the LORD for sufferings! And neither should we! Sufferings will come, because of our own disobedience. - AS well as - sharing in the sufferings of Christ for the sake of the Gospel.
Is it bodily suffering?
Paul bore in his body the marks of his physical sufferings.
Is someone persecuting you?
Perhaps a messenger of Satan has been sent to buffet you.
Have you been rejected?
Has your husband, wife, child or a close friend turned on you?
Are you going through fiery trials?
Are you battling a stubborn temptation that won't let go? This is a stronghold.
Having family trouble? Facing scary financial problems?

Another Primary Purposes Behind Sufferings of Saints
Is To Qualify Us To Become Consolers of Other Sufferers!
Paul said,
"(The Lord) comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God" (2 Corinthians 1:4).

One of the neediest ministries in the church of Jesus Christ today is that of consolation -- comforting others in their trouble and affliction. Many believers simply don't know where to turn in their hurt. BUT you must first find the root cause of your affliction, suffering, bondage, torment , etc. We do not need more psychologists who use words to disguise their psychological approaches. It doesn't matter how well-trained, "expert" or compassionate they are: Man's advice cannot alleviate a troubled soul!

(Neither should we Ever ask GOD for more sufferings! We don't have to ask the LORD Jesus to pour sufferings into our life - so that we can "Suffer with Him" We will suffer with Him as a result of being children of GOD! His followers! period.)

OR we will suffer because we have not learned to stand against the wiles, schemes, traps, snares of the demonic influences, giving into the temptations to sin, walking after the flesh and FULFILLING the lusts of the flesh. Grieving the very heart of GOD.
We will suffer.

When you need someone, a true prayer intercessor, or a true servant of the LORD, you need someone who truely walks with Christ Jesus, because that someone has been tested in the fires of affliction -- one who has known loneliness, sadness, sorrow, rejection, heartache. Or has experienced that GOD is a consuming fire.... .you want someone who has been to the point of giving up -- and yet has trusted God and come forth rejoicing, believing, stronger than ever.

You see, it is suffering people who receive the consolations and comforts of the LORD. They know the sympathy of Jesus, because His voice speaks true comfort to them in their hour of darkness. These sufferers become rich in spiritual resources. They develop a confidence born out of having endured tribulations and testings. Best of all, GOD gives them an influence they could not have gotten in any other way!

I think of Corrie Ten Boom, and the wonderful experience it was for the thousands of people who sat and listened to her talk about Jesus. Many pastors and leaders all over the United States were comforted and encouraged by this once-unknown woman -- because all of her suffering had produced a wealth of knowledge of the Lord. She had a wealth of consolation and comfort from the Holy Spirit -- and she used that wealth as an influence for Jesus!

Paul was able to rejoice in all his tribulations because he knew his sufferings were for others' benefit. He saw his trials as a kind of schooling he was going through. He could say, "GOD will use this for a purpose -- because He is training me! There will be people who are going to need my influence. They'll need my comfort and consolation, which I have received in my suffering!"

It is no wonder Paul referred to his heavenly Father as "...the Father of mercies, and the GOD of all comfort" (2 Corinthians 1:3). He had learned in his sufferings how to draw that consolation from the LORD!

BUT the LORD never tells us to ask for sufferings! Never! Never!! Let GOD be GOD.

Seek the LORD will all your heart, let GOD direct your path. Press into Him.

Well... i think what is important is that we prepare for suffering (through fasting and prayer), face suffering, and also choose to suffer by denying ourselves picking up the cross and following Jesus.

Say for example, if there were a single mother with 5 children, and an opportunity came to a single christian woman of some means to move in with them and share her limited means, that would certainly be choosing to suffer (because let me just tell you, you will suffer by doing this), yet it would be suffering for Jesus (if that was her intentions to begin with).

I have known people who have chosen to suffer in such ways, and have resulted in great fruits for His kingdom. And a tremendous testimony. And i cannot even testify with words of the gloriousness of these kinds of works in reflecting the perfection of God through them! But these people have willingly suffered, though they did not really need to. They have given up their wealth for the poor and for His kingdom and actually become poor with the poor. And i am not talking about a long time ago.... but in the present time.

Glory be to God.

__________________